XLM Insight | Stellar Lumens News, Price Trends & Guides
XLM Insight | Stellar Lumens News, Price Trends & Guides
So, I get this email blast from Alabama Power, all decked out in Halloween clip art. The subject line is probably something like “Don’t Be Spooked By Your Power Bill!” and my eyes just glaze over. It’s the usual corporate holiday tie-in, the kind of thing some marketing intern probably spent a whole afternoon on, feeling very clever.
They’re here to “bust the myths” about energy savings. We’re talking about “energy vampires” and “phantom energy.” According to one report, they want you to know that, yes, your TV is still sipping juice even when it’s off (Alabama Power provides tips to dispel scary energy-savings myths during spooky season and beyond). They’re warning you not to turn your heat all the way off when you leave, because—get this—it has to work harder to warm up all your furniture again. Groundbreaking.
It’s all so folksy and paternalistic. "Don't kill your unit because bringing it back to life could be like waking up Frankenstein’s monster," they write. Cute. They’re really out here telling us to unplug our toasters and coffee makers, and I just... I can’t. It’s not that the advice is wrong, it’s that it’s so comically, insultingly small. It’s like a doctor telling a guy with a severed leg to remember to take his daily vitamins. Thanks, doc. I’ll get right on that.
Let's break down this masterpiece of public relations, shall we? Myth #1: Turning your heat off saves money. Fact: It makes the system work harder later. Okay, fine. Myth #2: Closing vents in unused rooms helps. Fact: It messes with your system’s airflow. Sure, whatever.
Then we get to the real heavy hitters. Myth #3: Plugged-in electronics don’t use power. Fact: Beware the “energy vampires!” Unplug that lamp! Get a power strip! This is the kind of advice my grandpa gave me in 1998, and it probably saved him a grand total of $4.75 over the course of a decade. The sheer effort of crawling behind my entertainment center to unplug everything every night would probably cost me more in chiropractic bills than I’d save on my power bill.
And my favorite, Myth #4: It’s impossible to save energy while cooking. Their solution? Go grill outside. In late October. Or use a slow cooker. This is presented as some kind of secret knowledge, a hack to beat the system. This is what they think we need help with. This is the level they’re operating on. They’re patting us on the head, telling us to be good little consumers and watch out for those spooky phantom kilowatts, and it would almost be charming if it weren’t for the other email I saw from them.
The one that didn’t have any cartoon ghosts on it.
While you’re dutifully unplugging your toaster to save twelve cents, Alabama Power is staging the opening act of a genuine, multi-year horror show on Valleydale Road. For the next month, they’ll be shutting down lanes between 9 a.m. and 2 p.m. to start relocating power lines (Lane closures on Valleydale Road between now and Nov. 28 for utility relocation).
Why? Because they’re preparing for a road-widening project. A project that has been in the works for 27 years. Let that sink in. A project that will take another three years just for utility relocation, costing $10 million. And only after that, maybe in late 2028, will the actual road construction begin, costing another $45 million.
So, for the foreseeable future, a 3.5-mile stretch of a major artery is going to be a constricted, miserable hellscape. Imagine sitting in that single lane of traffic, engine idling, staring at the brake lights in front of you, watching the clock tick toward the time you were supposed to pick up your kids. The low rumble of heavy machinery is the soundtrack to your afternoon. This isn't a one-day inconvenience. This is the new normal for thousands of people.
This is a bad plan. No, 'bad' doesn't cover it—this is a generational-level failure of planning adn execution. Twenty-seven years to get to the starting line? Are you kidding me?
Their spokesman, Anthony Cook, offers this little gem: “We appreciate your patience as we complete this important work.” Let me translate that for you. “We are about to make your daily commute a living nightmare for the better part of a decade. We’ve known this was coming for longer than some of our employees have been alive, but here we are. Sucks to be you. Please continue to pay your bill on time.”
The sheer scale of the disconnect is breathtaking. On one hand, they’re sending out cutesy, condescending emails about unplugging your phone charger. On the other, they are casually commencing a $55 million, multi-year disruption to our actual lives. What’s the carbon footprint of thousands of cars idling in traffic for an extra 30 minutes every single day for the next five-plus years? Does that get offset by me using a toaster oven instead of my big oven? I’m genuinely asking. Does anyone at Alabama Power have a spreadsheet for that?
Let’s be real. This isn’t about saving us money or energy. The Halloween email isn’t a public service; it’s a distraction. It’s a way to position the giant, faceless utility as your friendly neighborhood helper. It’s a performance of care. They want to be seen as the folks helping you pinch pennies, so you’re less likely to think about the millions of dollars and decades of planning (or lack thereof) that go into a project that will actively make your life worse.
They’re telling you to worry about the crumbs while they bulldoze the whole damn bakery. They want your focus to be micro—on your plugs, your vents, your lightbulbs. Because if you’re looking down there, you’re not looking up at the colossal, slow-moving, and unbelievably expensive machinery of infrastructure. You’re not asking why it takes 27 years to plan 3.5 miles of road. You’re not asking if there was a better way.
So, sure. I’ll unplug my toaster. But it’s not because I’m spooked by energy vampires. It’s because I’m starting to think the whole system needs to be unplugged and rebooted.