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Let’s get one thing straight. When the head coach of the No. 1 team in the nation has to give his guys a post-game pep talk to convince them that a win is, in fact, a good thing, you don’t have a good thing. You have a problem.
Ryan Day stood there after Ohio State sleepwalked its way to a 34-16 victory over Illinois and basically told the media, "We did what we had to do to win the game." He even admitted he had to reassure his own team that this ugly, sputtering performance was something to be proud of.
Give me a break.
This is the kind of PR spin you expect from a team that’s 3-3, not 6-0. "A win is a win," they say. Sure. And a frozen dinner is technically a meal, but you wouldn't serve it at a wedding. This victory in Champaign wasn't a statement; it was a mumbled apology. It felt less like a dominant performance and more like the varsity squad toying with the JV team and still managing to look clumsy. Day’s trying to sell this as a gritty road win, and I'm supposed to just... nod along? No thanks.
You want to know the final score? Fine, it was 34-16. You want to know the real story? Illinois, the No. 17 team, outgained the mighty No. 1 Buckeyes, 295 yards to 272.
Read that again. The team with a five-star recruiting class that stretches from here to the moon got pushed around and ended up with fewer yards than a solid, but not spectacular, Big Ten opponent. The only reason the scoreboard looked the way it did was because the OSU defense gift-wrapped the offense prime real estate all afternoon. The average starting field position for the Buckeyes' first eight possessions was their own 49-yard line.
That’s not an offense; that’s a spoiled kid whose parents keep paying his rent. The touchdown drives were 35, 26, 63, and 24 yards long. It’s like bragging about hitting a home run when you started on third base. What happens when this team has to drive 90 yards in two minutes against a defense that doesn't just hand them the ball? Do we have any evidence they can actually do that?

The whole operation was just… bland. It was a Kyle McCord game without the heart palpitations. Julian Sayin didn’t make any catastrophic mistakes, but he didn’t exactly light the world on fire either. The offense was bad. No, 'bad' is too simple—it was uninspired, a beige-colored paint-by-numbers attack that relied on the defense to create every spark. They punched it in from the goal line, sure. But that’s the bare minimum. That’s like praising a chef because the water he boiled was, in fact, wet.
This gets me thinking about the whole college sports machine. Fans drive for hours, wondering how far is Champaign Illinois from Chicago, they check into overpriced Champaign Illinois hotels, and they spend a fortune on tickets and merch, all to watch a product that feels… lazy. You can’t tell me this is the peak of athletic performance.
Okay, let’s give credit where it’s due. The Ohio State defense is a pack of wolves. Jermaine Mathews Jr., playing out of position in the slot, looked like a man possessed. His breakup led to an interception on Illinois’ first drive, and his strip-sack in the third quarter was the final nail in the coffin. He said it himself: "I knew when I got in that slot today it was going to be something." You gotta love that swagger.
Then you have Kayden McDonald just ripping the ball out of Ca’Lil Valentine’s hands like a bully taking lunch money. "They’re little guys. I’m a big guy. I could easily take it away," he said. That’s the kind of raw, unapologetic dominance that wins games. For now.
But here’s the terrifying truth for Buckeye Nation: this isn't sustainable. A defense that lives on turnovers is like a gambler on a hot streak. You can’t expect three takeaways a game. And what happens on the day the defense is merely great instead of superhuman? What happens when the opponent doesn’t fumble, when their quarterback doesn’t throw a wounded duck up for grabs?
We already saw the first crack in the armor. They gave up their first red zone touchdowns of the season. You could almost hear the collective gasp in Memorial Stadium when Aidan Laughery walked into the endzone. For a fleeting moment, under the perfect autumn weather in Champaign Illinois, there was a flicker of hope for the home crowd. It was a sign of mortality. This defense can be scored on.
And when they are, that sputtering, short-field-dependent offense is going to be asked to win a game on its own. And I, for one, have seen absolutely nothing to suggest it can. Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe just winning is enough in modern college football.
Let’s be real. This wasn’t a "good, tough road win." This was a flashing, neon-red warning sign. Ohio State is the top-ranked team in the country, but they’re playing with a fatal flaw. Their offense is a liability being masked by a defense performing at an unsustainable, heroic level. Turnovers, Grinding Offense Enough To Carry Buckeyes Through Challenge In Champaign. They won the battle for the Illibuck trophy, offcourse. But a performance like this against a real contender—a Michigan, an Oregon, a Georgia—gets them laughed out of the stadium. This team ain't a champion in waiting; it's an accident waiting to happen.