Aster Zooms, CZ Buys: What's Behind the Pump?

Alright, so France is finally wising up and doubling the missile capacity on its FDI frigates. Big deal. I mean, it's only taken them, what, a decade and a couple of near-wars to realize that 16 missile cells ain't gonna cut it in a modern naval brawl?

Catching Up to… Greece?

Seriously, the article brags about how this upgrade aligns the French Navy with "enhanced export variants already under construction, most notably the Hellenic Navy’s Kimon-class frigates." So, let me get this straight: we’re patting ourselves on the back for finally matching the firepower of… Greece? A country whose navy is, shall we say, not exactly known for its global dominance? Give me a freakin' break.

It's like buying a sports car with a lawnmower engine and then celebrating when you finally swap it out for something that can, you know, actually get you to the grocery store.

And what about the first three frigates? Oh, they'll be retrofitted. Eventually. Which probably means sometime around 2040, after they've already been obsolete for a decade.

The "Evolving Threat Landscape" Excuse

Of course, the official line is that this is all about "evolving threat assessments and operational lessons from recent conflicts." Right. Because nobody could have possibly foreseen that advanced cruise missiles and drone swarms might be a problem before they started building these things.

"Proliferation of advanced cruise missiles, unmanned aerial vehicles, and saturation attack tactics has underscored the importance of deep magazines for sustained air defense operations."

Translation: "We screwed up, but we don't want to admit it, so we're gonna use a bunch of fancy words to make it sound like this was all part of the plan."

This whole thing smacks of bureaucratic incompetence and shortsighted cost-cutting. They skimped on the missiles initially to save a few bucks, and now they're scrambling to play catch-up as the world gets increasingly dangerous. According to France to Double ASTER Missile Capacity on FDI Frigates, the upgrade will double the missile capacity.

Speaking of cost-cutting...my internet bill just went up again. What's with these companies throttling speeds and then charging more? It's highway robbery I tell you. These tech companies are...wait what was I talking about? Oh right, frigates.

The Real Question: Why Now?

The article mentions that "budget constraints led to a relatively modest VLS configuration." But why were there budget constraints in the first place? Was France suddenly broke? Or did someone decide that funding fancy social programs was more important than, you know, defending the country?

And why did export customers like Greece get the upgraded version from the start? Did they pay extra? Did they have better lobbyists? What gives? Details on why the decision was made remain scarce, but the impact is clear.

Are these the same geniuses who are supposed to be leading us into the future? No wonder everyone's glued to their phones doomscrolling.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this is all part of some brilliant master plan that's too complex for my simple mind to grasp. But I doubt it.

A Day Late and a Dollar Short